#10 anger.

89. Tell about what triggers anger in you.

In general I don't get angry a lot. I get irritated. But once I snap. I shout. Throw stuff and cry.

The time when I get angry is usually when I'm tired. Like if some one asks me to do something when I'm tired and sleepy. I turn into a bitch. Also when people shout at me. If it was my fault then it's okay. But when I know that I'm right and they keep on pushing their argument against me. I snap, then shout, then throw stuff and cry in the end.

In my previous blog, I mentioned that my ride home is unpleasant. At one time I actually shouted and almost lost it there. Among all of the things that I get angry at it's usually the MRT. yeah. It is just that bad in there.
Especially when people are rude. Like trying to push themselves.

Another thing that makes my blood boil is people. Generally people are worthless, selfish , greedy. Really just horrible. Especially when they like to talk about other people or when they just focus on one side and look at things in a monochromatic way. Just one dimension. It gets me really angry, because they judge without knowing. Yeah I understand that it can't be helped. But can you at least get to know them first?

More or less that what usually gets me angry. But really it's just normal things.

#9 Poem?

The pain of my feet kills me
not being able to walk on the asphalt floor
heat going through my body
my blood boiling

there was a time when this was the least of my problems
the time when everything was right
the time when my parents were still together
the time when our future was bright

But time runs without looking back
and falls into a hole of no return

My feet hurt gradually
time was running too fast
I can't catch up

My whole body ached
the pain of running from place to place
finally affected my body
not being able to find comfort brings tears to my eyes

Broken, worn out and useless
were the only things I thought of
and there was no way out
my ancestors have brought this upon me

What did I do to deserve this?
why am I cursed?

Nothing gave comfort
Only scars
wounds on my feet and a broken heart
the thought of being left behind scares me

the pain of my feet continues on till this day
still no comfort

Unfortunately there is no way of escaping
this was given to me until I die
I bring this to a place where I wish there is no more pain and scars
and filled with freedom of walking again


~ So, yeah. It's actually about having big feet.

#8 things that make me happy

80. Write a list of at least 20 things that make you happy

There is a lot of things that make me happy. Here's a list of thing of what makes me happy:

1.FOOD - I know it's a necessity and stuff. But when I'm sad food is just there.

2.CARTOONS - Because it brings be back to my childhood.

3. MY DAD - Because he helps me with school work and listens me.

4. MY BROTHER - Because he is just awesome.

5. MY MOM - Her hardworking attitude really motivates me.

6. MY lil' BROTHER - He is just one very sweet, special and happy little boy.

7. MY BLOCK ABMA 123 - When with them, it just feels like one big happy family! Just amazing people!

8. H.S friends - the people that made an effort during highschool.

9. ICE CREAM - Words cannot explain how much this makes me happy.

10. CAKE - Again, words cannot explain how much this makes me happy.

11. MUSIC - It is just really relaxing.

12. ART - It helps me express myself.

13. INTERNET - The world where dreams come true.

14. CANDY - My comfort food. (explains why I'm so fat)

15. PAPER - It's nice to know that paper is always on your side!

16. FAMILY GUY - My life source.

17. MUSICALS - My other passion.

18. PUBLIC SPEAKING - Just because my confidence on stage is way different than my normal self.

19. COLORS - Being able to see amazing colors really lightens my mood.

20. IMAGINATION - A world where I could be myself.

Well that's all of it. Usually people put trivial stuff there. But I'm not usual.

#7 the amazing people of the MRT

7. describe your ride home.

In a nutshell. My ride home consist of: jeepney, MRT , jeepney. It may not seem much. But it's actually a 45 min - 1 hour ride. The longest part is the MRT ride. Not only it's the longest but also it's the most stressful part.

The first jeepney is around 15 min. If there's no traffic. Just a normal rid to the MRT station. Now the MRT station. Usually if everything goes well it's just 20 mins or less. BUT if it breaks down, or the line is too long OR when it's rush hour. I'm screwed. the usual 20 min ride turns into an hour or more. And it's not just that. the people, especially the girls. Are freaking crazy and always in a rush. I understand that you're rushing. But could you please wait for the people to get out first, before you ride? It really makes no sense running in the cart and not let the people get out. But it's not just that there are those people who cut in the line of the waiting area. FOR CHRIST'S SAKE THERE IS A LINE! I'd understand if there was only 2-3 people. But sometimes it's a line of 10 and the cut in. 

Also, in the girls area. That area may seem nice. But I tell you that almost every one of those 'female passengers'. Are in fact bitches. Really. They look at you like you're a killer. Snarl at you if you loose your balance. There is only a handful of nice girls in there. Now comparing to the 'normal' carts. The ones with guys. WHY DO YOU FORCE YOURSELF IN THE CARTS?!?! if, you just wait a little bit. just a little. I tell you that the flow of the MRT will be faster and that it'll be easier to ride. BUT NOOOOO, they have force their stinky, sweaty bodies inside an air conditioned cart and fill it up with a stench that it smells worst than rotten garbage.

I'll stop now. It's because I might turn unto the hulk and smash the MRT out of rage and won't be able to go to school tomorrow. And here's a message to the cranky, bitchy and selfish people in the MRT:

                                 

#6 my inspiration

Who is the person alive today that you would most like to meet and talk to?

I've been drawing ever since I was a kid. Not good at it. But it's okay, I think I'm improving. When I found out that you can take animation in college. I freaked out. Mostly because I watch A LOT of cartoons and anime. If you asked me what I did when I was a kid I'd say 'cartoons'.

But even if I did wanted to take up animation. I was skeptical about it. There was no inspiration. No source of hope of me passing. Until one day I watched season 1-6 of family guy. I got hooked. I did a lot of research on it. and I came across this guy:

Seth Woodbury Macfarlane. The one and only creator of Family Guy. When I found out that he was able to get his own primetime T.V show at the very young age of 24 I told myself that I wanted to be like him. He is my source of inspiration.

 Given the chance I'd like to ask him ' Where did you get the idea of Family guy? '. Also ' how is it humanly possible that you could do that many range of voices?!'. Really, just those two questions. It keeps on coming into my brain every time I watch an episode of family guy. Which is on it'e 12 season now. Such a successful show with such a weird plot. It's filled with profanity, babies wanting to kill their mothers, an unloving father, an alcoholic dog, and a sex crazed teen son. So weird and yet, how was he able to come up with that?

 Though when the time actually comes I'll probably just freak out and tell him that I love him. But that will probably the only questions that I'd ask him.

#5 wants

write about something you desperately wanted when you were a kid.

Remember that kid in the classroom  who usually freaks you out? The one who does the weirdest things and yet is really quiet? yeah. I remember that . I was that that kid.

We all wanted something when we were young. Toys, Trips, candy, and etc. For most girls it was a Barbie. An anorexic blonde with different accessories. Yeah, and they called me weird. For boys it was things like Lego or hot wheels. The kind of toys that when they leave on the floor you accidentally step on it. And it feels like the devil's poked.

Like I said, I'm weird. And since I was weird ever since I was a kid then, I wanted different stuff...

Though the occasional ' wanting for toys ' came and go. Still it didn't really feel right. Things like Barbies weren't really the thing for me. I wanted crayons, oil pastels, coloring books and stuff like that. I always wanted art supplies. And I couldn't stop. I kept on asking for more since I always used them. And I'd get jealous with the other kids cause their parents gave them that full art kit. The ones with the cheap materials that don't even work. Of course I was just a kid and quality does't matter. But I wanted one nonetheless. Eventually, I got one. I was around 6 years old and it was Christmas. All of my relatives gave me one. ALL OF THEM. So, I got like 10 art kits. I was really happy. I finally got what I really wanted. But there was one problem that time. THERE WAS NO PAPER. 10 art kits and no one thought of giving me paper. maybe they expected me to draw on the walls or something.


                          

I'm no longer a child. But I still want art materials. For recreational use. It's really just something that I cant't get over. Was there something that you wanted when you were a kid? did you get it?

#4 When it's boring

Boring class? teachers voice sounds like a lulu-by? doze of into your own world. But not in the way of sleeping. But in the way of finding your own reality. Daydreaming. A really fun way of passing the time.

Your imagination on the loose and just running wild. Anything can happen in a daydream. You could be fighting an untamed lion or swimming with the mermaids. Really anything.

Usually when I daydream it's before i sleep. You know that fine line before sleeping and sleeping? I always had a hard time passing that line. So I daydream. I like to think of it as a train ride to sleepville. Weird? yeah it is. But scientists say that we, humans, usually think of something impossible before we sleep. So if you're thinking about the person you like then you fall asleep. Then it must be impossible. Nah, just kidding. 

But seriously, I believe that daydreaming is very healthy. Especially when you are doing nothing. It keeps the brain active, you feel refreshed afterwards. You also get to let out how you think about situations before hand. The only problem about daydreaming is that if we do it during an important boring lecture. We don't listen and just dream. Which is probably the reason why a lot of students fail.

At the right times. Daydreaming is really fun and exciting. I suggest that think of where you are first and make sure that it's not during an important lecture!