#12 black sheep =_=

#145 write about being a misfit

I've noticed that I can't really 'blend in' well. When I was a kid I was the quite weird one. I was quiet because I couldn't find a person who has the same interests as me. Other kids would talk about local T.V shows and celebrities. But I didn't know any local shows cause I watched American T.V shows, like scrubs, f.r.i.e.n.d.s and family guy. And the other kids will think that it was weird. Admit-tingly I am weird. Being normal is boring. I like the color black, almost all of my clothes are black or a dark color. I love alternative rock. My favorite movie is Alice in wonderland, the one with Johnny Depp. And I LOVE FAMILY GUY. I guess with that combination my personality is pretty unstable. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm still human.

Pretty much my whole existence, a lot of people seem to hate me. I don't really mind that if there was a valid reason. But the fact that a person would hate me because I did nothing at all is really hurting. Honestly it's hard not being accepted by others. When I was a kid I really tried to make friends, but I just couldn't. People really think that I'm THAT weird. Even when I was in high school, a girl got mad at me. In my defense I really didn't do anything bad to her and she made the whole class mad at me, even my own best friend. When I tried to apologize they got even madder, they said that I was a 'feeler' and bullied me even more. At that time I was really a mess, I couldn't tell my family because I was afraid that they would judge me and do the same thing. But they did and even my own family couldn't understand me. They didn't even try. At that time I was doing bad things to my family. Honestly I didn't know why. I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW WHY I WAS DOING BAD THINGS. Even if I told them that. They didn't seek for professional help for me. Or even ask me what was going on with my life. Until now, they still cant accept me.

Until today I still hold grudges on the people that bullied me. And I believe that their bullying forced me to become bad without me even noticing it. Now I owe my family for not kicking me out and I'm really grateful to them. I still can't be accepted by people. But through time I cared less about them. And believe that I'll have revenge.




my message to the people
Also,  TO THE GIRL THAT MADE MY ENTIRE 2nd YEAR IN HIGHSCHOOL A LIVING HELL, FUCK YOU. YOU ADOPTED  MOTHER FUCKING SON OF A BITCH AND TO THE PEOPLE WHO HELPED HER, I HOPE YOU HAVE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH.




I'm so mean. =(